Rob’s story: from prison to purpose

Robert Brown’s childhood was full of trauma and abuse, so he looked for belonging within a gang and tried to ease his emotional pain with drugs, alcohol and violence.

Rob was also dyslexic and did not gain any school qualifications, relying on illegal methods of generating income for many years. He became a notorious gang enforcer who spent his life going in and out of prison. Rob calculated that he completed 78 programmes through the prison system without seeing any long-term change.

“For 35 years, I lived day to day for my next drug fix and who I could hurt – a lot of innocent people got hurt along the way but for the majority, I was looking for people that deserved, it taking the law into my own hands. When I was younger I actually wanted to be a policeman, to help other children that had been through the abuse that I had gone through. But back then there was a height restriction, you had to read and write – I didn’t have the height and couldn’t read and write. So I became a policeman in the underground type of thing. I went through life like that. I couldn’t read and write, but I used to say, 'Well, I know how to fight'. My survival skills was to ask first, and if I didn’t achieve a result, I’d use a threat. And if that didn’t achieve it, violence would achieve it – with a price: guilt and hurting others and prison. I was a very wrong role model for my children. I just knew it, I could tell in my wife’s body language every day that I’m losing her. She actually had given up on me, she had been physically and mentally drained. I had drained her to the point that she was leaving. And she’d already made up her mind that it’s over, she just didn’t know how to get out.”

Eight years ago, Rob nearly lost his family when his wife Shirlene gave him an ultimatum – change or I’m gone. He was referred to Te Whakaora Tangata as a last resort, by a friend who had been through their Family Restoration programme.

“We ended up doing the programme twice. Things were already changing, we had hope. But the breakthrough was the one-on-one – about the brokenness, forgiving. It was about letting go. None of us would drink poison every day when you wake up, but when you hold onto unforgiveness it’s the same thing. It’s eating you up, from the inside out.”

As Rob has forgiven those who hurt him, he has seen his whānau restored and his drug habits broken. Since then, Rob “hasn’t had so much as a speeding ticket,” as he told John Campbell in an interview on TV1 Breakfast. Rob started his own gardening business, but his biggest dream was to work in the community, helping others break free from violence, drugs & crime as he has done.

Rob joined our first intake on the Community Leadership Programme back in 2022. Throughout the programme, Rob’s dedication and passion shone through; he has inspired hundreds of people by sharing his story publicly through the years, and through one-to-one mentoring.

“After completing the leadership programme, I learnt it’s about being a leader in your own house before you can do it in the community. Not just ‘do what I say’, but lead by example. I got so much out of the Community Leadership Programme. I now know my calling, and that’s to work with the community in the area of inmates being released from prison, that I have an opportunity to connect with through my past. My past as an ex-gang member, a person of unforgiveness, drug addiction, depression, and quite a few other things. But those have become skills I can use to help those people.” (Rob)

Rob is now working with us at Whakamana Ora, mentoring and leading groups in the community, for people who want to change from their past but need connection and encouragement. He is an amazing role model for his grandchildren, who he says would never believe the person that he used to be. That person is completely transformed.